Today is a day where I’m tempted burn down a freaking bridge. To rail against the hurt and fling insults and hurt right back. Today is use all the words Jesus wouldn’t want me to kind of day. Frankly it sucks. I’m hurt. It’s not fair I have poured out grace upon grace and forgiven over and over. It’s not fair to my children and it’s definitely not fair to me. I want to shout my case from the hill tops. I want to have an adult conversations about the issues but I’ve been told there are not ears to hear.
Today is also a day to relinquish some “rights” I perceived I had…
I relinquish the right to have people I love, love me back and treat me with dignity.
I relinquish the “right” to be treated like an adult and have a conversation about issues.
I relinquish the “right” have people hear and see my hurt and pain without dismissing it.
I have to chose to forgive. I have to chose to move on. I have to chose grace.
Why?
Because Jesus is always forgiving me. Because Jesus does not hold my wrongs over me. Because Jesus gives me grace e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y.
I will chose to forgive even if it does take time, but I will not forget and you better be damn sure there will be some fresh new boundaries in place. I will chose start listening to the messages I am giving my children about how they deserve to be treated. Because I to deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.
